Am I Being Emotionally Abused? Checklist

🚨 “Am I Being Emotionally Abused?” Checklist

Built for people who’ve been gaslit, blamed, and told it’s all in their head.

This checklist is important because emotional abuse is one of the most invisible and misunderstood forms of harm—especially for individuals who have ADHD, RSD (Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria), trauma histories, or are in long-term dependency-based relationships. People in these situations often don’t recognize abuse while it’s happening. They second-guess their instincts, overanalyze their own reactions, and end up internalizing blame for the mistreatment they endure. This isn't because they're weak—it's because emotional abuse is designed to confuse, control, and erode self-trust. A checklist like this cuts through that fog.

Unlike physical abuse, emotional abuse doesn’t leave bruises you can show the world. It leaves psychological bruises—doubt, fear, guilt, confusion, and shame—that are easy to dismiss or explain away. Abusers rely on that. They weaponize words, withhold love, twist reality, and isolate their partners in ways that make it nearly impossible for the victim to validate their own experience. That’s where this checklist comes in: it gives survivors language and confirmation for what they’ve lived through—especially when no one else has believed them.

This tool matters most for people who have been emotionally destabilized. If you’re constantly being told you’re “too sensitive” or “overreacting,” you start to lose your grip on reality. You stop trusting your gut. And if you grew up in an emotionally neglectful or abusive household, you may never have learned what healthy love or conflict even looks like. That means you’re more likely to normalize harmful patterns or stay too long in dangerous emotional terrain. This checklist names those patterns clearly. It provides a mirror to reflect back the truth when the person in the relationship is being gaslit, guilt-tripped, and emotionally drained.

It also matters because emotional abuse often escalates over time. What begins with put-downs or withdrawal can progress to coercive control, financial entrapment, parental alienation, or complete psychological collapse. Early identification is key to breaking that cycle. For many survivors, a checklist like this is the first time they realize what they’re going through actually has a name—and that it’s not okay.

Finally, this checklist matters because survivors often need permission to name what’s happening to them. They need a structured way to assess the situation without being overwhelmed by emotion. They need a quiet moment of truth where someone—even on paper—says: You're not imagining this. You're not wrong for feeling broken. You're not alone.

This tool is more than paper. It’s a lifeline. It gives people the clarity they’ve been denied and helps them begin the long, necessary process of reclaiming their truth.

🚨 “Am I Being Emotionally Abused?” Checklist

🧠 Section 1: Psychological Control

•  I feel like I need permission to make decisions or express myself

•  I often ask myself, “Was that my fault?” even when I know it wasn’t

•  I feel afraid to be honest because I know it’ll get turned against me

•  I’ve started changing how I act, speak, or dress to avoid their reaction

•  They tell me how I should feel instead of asking how I do feel

•  I feel like I’m walking on eggshells every day

  
  

🗣️ Section 2: Verbal Manipulation

•  They twist my words to make me the problem

•  I’ve been told I’m too sensitive, crazy, or making it up

•  I’ve been yelled at, talked down to, or called names

•  They apologize without changing — just to reset the cycle

•  They act like they’re the victim after they’ve hurt me

•  When I try to bring something up, they turn it into an attack on me

  
  

🔁 Section 3: Emotional Reversal (Gaslighting)

•  They make me doubt my memory of events

•  I often feel confused after arguments, like I lost track of what even happened

•  They deny things I know happened

•  I feel like I’m being forced to question my own version of reality

•  They say I’m overreacting, even when my reaction is justified

•  They make me feel guilty for reacting to pain they caused

  
  

💔 Section 4: Emotional Starvation

•  They withhold affection or attention when they’re mad

•  They only show warmth when they want something

•  I feel emotionally invisible or unwanted around them

•  I have to beg for kindness or tenderness

•  They never check in on how I’m doing emotionally

•  They expect me to meet their needs but ignore mine

  
  

🚧 Section 5: Isolation & Dependency

•  They’ve discouraged or sabotaged my relationships with friends/family

•  I feel like I have no one to turn to but them — and they know it

•  They use my financial, medical, or emotional struggles against me

•  I rely on them because I have no safe way to leave (transportation, money, housing)

•  They remind me I’d be “nothing without them” or say no one else would want me

•  They guilt-trip me for having needs, health issues, or trauma

  
  

🧨 Section 6: Emotional Impact

•  I’m always exhausted, anxious, or shut down emotionally

•  I’ve stopped talking about my life or feelings — it never goes well

•  I’ve had outbursts or emotional breakdowns that I never used to have

•  I feel like I’m becoming someone I don’t recognize

•  I no longer feel safe in my own home

•  I feel like I’m dying inside, and they act like nothing’s wrong

  
  

⚠️ If You Check 10 or More:

You are not being dramatic — you are being emotionally abused. You’re being drained, silenced, and rewritten. The longer you stay, the more you’ll doubt your reality.

This checklist doesn’t exist to scare you — it exists to wake you up. You deserve love that doesn’t break your soul.